Falling in Love with Myself

By Savina Plescia Redpath

Biography & memoir

Paperback, eBook

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2 mins


Table of Contents
Introduction 9
Chapter 1: My Fear 11
Chapter 2: Papá 14
Chapter 3: Falling in Love with Myself 18
Chapter 4: Carmelina, my mother 25
Chapter 5: Tony, my husband 32
Chapter 6: Visit to Nazareth House 38
Chapter 7: Sweet and Bitter 45
Chapter 8: A Hard Life and Longing for Home 51
Chapter 9: Zeerust and Mafikeng Convents 59
Chapter 10: Starting Work and Moving to Johannes- burg 64
Chapter 11: Working in London 68
Chapter 12: Motherhood 73
Chapter 13: Being a Stay at Home Mom 77
Chapter 14: Our Children 82
Chapter 15: Mark 85
Chapter 16: Our Trip back to Palermo 93
Chapter 17: Depression 97
Chapter 18: Poems, Writings and Feelings 110
Chapter 19: My Teddy Bear 113
Chapter 20: My Son, Living in London 115
Chapter 21: Remembering Gaborone 117
Chapter 22: Therapy, Spiritual and Emotional Healing 119
Chapter 23: Oh, Bittersweet Love 126
Chapter 24: The Gypsy in Me 128
Chapter 25: Beatings 132
Chapter 26: Could my childhood trauma have affected my children? 145
Chapter 27: School Reunion 148
Chapter 28: My Desire to Please 152
Chapter 29: My Fear of Being Left Alone 154
Chapter 30: My Need to be Loved by Daddy 158
Chapter 31: Happily Retired 161
Chapter 32: Who have I become? 165
Chapter 33: Total Acceptance of Who I am 174
Chapter 34: Wanting, Needing, Love me 178
Chapter 35: Beautiful Butterfly 183
Chapter 36: Last Page for Papá 185
About the Author 187

This is the story about my life and my parents coming from Palermo, Sicily, to settle in South Africa after World War II. Their struggles were also ours. As children we witnessed all the pain of separation and longing for a country and family they left behind.
This book talks mainly about my relationship with my father whose culture and conditioning clashed with my own beliefs growing up in South Africa. My rebelliousness was a bone of contention which brought out his anger and aggression. The two years my brothers and I spent in an orphanage contributed to the depression I experienced later on in my life.
This is the story of my journey through depression, coming to terms with what I experienced as a child, needing to forgive and ultimately coming to love and accept myself.
I know that what I have written may not be easy for some to read, but I believe it is a very positive and loving story and can certainly help many on the road to forgiveness, self-love and acceptance. My relationship with Dad is personal to me only and how I have perceived it. I believe we all have to take full responsibility for the way we perceive our experiences and for all our actions. When we can do that there is amazing freedom and we can see the hand of God in every situation, and it becomes our blessing.
Love, forgiveness and compassion is the true message and reason for me to have put out this book and hopefully it can also help many along their own journey. It has not been easy revealing some truths that my children and some family members may not have known but my intention was to bring this out with love. It is in no way intended to cause pain to any member of my family. I have always loved and respected them and felt a very special bond between us.



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