Crooked Pathways

By Charlie Newlands

Short stories | Paperback, eBook


A collection of hilariously woeful yarns rinsed in the darkest of humour, draped across a paranormal catastrophe waiting to happen! *** Smashed on glue, Jimbo became intuitively aware of his fleshy remains being pulled gently from him like eggshell being peeled from a hard-boiled egg. It would seem that not breathing nor needing to breathe was a truly awesome and infinitely more effortless way to be! He felt as though a gigantic cosmic sponge had absorbed all the wretchedness from his life, sucking all his karmic woes away. This was an excellent feeling. *** Danny Texas is not a well lad. Battling with leukaemia he takes you through a heartrending comedy as a patient at Glasgow Royal Infirmary in the 1980s, finding himself trapped in a geriatrics ward. A poignant tale about a pure radge. *** Jimbo and his three stoned friends decide to cycle from Bristol to the Black Mountains revved up on microdots, valium, and eggs beans and chips. A psychedelic bike-ride these four loons will never forget as they accidentally stray onto blighted land soaked in historical eeriness. *** What does an opinionated, belligerent, alcoholic atheist do when he finds himself in a weird after-life, marooned in a Cornish pub? Cosmic Mark, has to come to terms with being dead as well as being dead thirsty for whiskey. The time has come for a settling of scores, the time has come for a little driNky... Let the haunting begin!


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A collection of hilariously woeful yarns rinsed in the darkest of humour, draped across a paranormal catastrophe waiting to happen! *** Smashed on glue, Jimbo became intuitively aware of his fleshy remains being pulled gently from him like eggshell being peeled from a hard-boiled egg. It would seem that not breathing nor needing to breathe was a truly awesome and infinitely more effortless way to be! He felt as though a gigantic cosmic sponge had absorbed all the wretchedness from his life, sucking all his karmic woes away. This was an excellent feeling. *** Danny Texas is not a well lad. Battling with leukaemia he takes you through a heartrending comedy as a patient at Glasgow Royal Infirmary in the 1980s, finding himself trapped in a geriatrics ward. A poignant tale about a p...


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I’m a slightly confused Irish-Scottish blend, born in Kettering, England, but brought up in Thurso, Scotland. After leaving school in the mid-eighties I drifted about in Glasgow, then moved to Bristol and stayed there for thirteen years. I have a BA Honours in Philosophy. I’m now living with my wife and three kids in deepest darkest Cornwall working as a writer of dark humour.



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