Stinky as Ever, Volume 5

By Peter Grant

Comedy & satire, Short stories | eBook


Someone has to be the best looking man on the planet, but it’s not easy. This collection begins with a pair of tales that take place shortly before our heroes met. Stinky finds himself dealing with a taxpayer’s nightmare state agency populated with a fustilarian, hobbledehoy, verdant bureaucrat, and others. Stinky has the vocabulary to categorize them, but needs to download software to sort them out. In a separate adventure, Eddie gets caught up in the excitement when his former neighbor, now a teen idol, returns to town. The blogosphere has them practically engaged, and Eddie gets a taste of the glamorous life when he joins her entourage for a few days. They’ve both gone through puberty since the last time they met—what’s holding him back? Carlotta di Cliesdale, the celebrated soprano, returns to town to play her first dramatic role. Can Stinky help a turbulent Italian play a turbulent Italian? Can a Fresno raisin queen forgive her anemic son for being a Red Sox fan? At least Eddie gets a full rack of back ribs for putting up with the shenanigans and the boys’ elderly neighbors get a much-needed income boost. The collection includes an historic haunted house and at least three star-crossed exhibits. When the local museum asks Eddie to be guest curator, Stinky’s assistance is well-intended, but not helpful. Stinky and Eddie drive to “one of those historic towns no one’s ever lived in” to reason with an unreasonable photography dealer. Stinky finds that even his dead ancestors can be a pain as he tries to encourage a small historical society to loan its rare milk evaporator to the more prosperous historical society on the other side of town. Stinky finds some billable hours when a WMD bombshell, equal to Stinky in beauty and craftiness, wanders into their summer paradise and sets her sights on a rich neighbor’s son. Pedestrians suffer cranial trauma as they walk into trees, lamp posts and other solid objects as they pass the stunning pair—and do it again when they notice Stinky. Fortunately for Stinky, the best looking man on the planet package does include a superb pair of shoulders, and he carries his burdens with manly fortitude. He only falters when he’s forced to listen to a cello sonata so modern it’s a “daugherata.” Did he take Eddie’s ear plugs away because he was jealous he didn’t think to bring a pair? You’ll have to buy the book and decide for yourself.


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Someone has to be the best looking man on the planet, but it’s not easy. This collection begins with a pair of tales that take place shortly before our heroes met. Stinky finds himself dealing with a taxpayer’s nightmare state agency populated with a fustilarian, hobbledehoy, verdant bureaucrat, and others. Stinky has the vocabulary to categorize them, but needs to download software to sort them out. In a separate adventure, Eddie gets caught up in the excitement when his former neighbor, now a teen idol, returns to town. The blogosphere has them practically engaged, and Eddie gets a taste of the glamorous life when he joins her entourage for a few days. They’ve both gone through puberty since the last time they met—what’s holding him back? Carlotta di Cliesdale, the celebrated soprano,...


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Peter Grant's first published work was an inspiring, nonfiction story of how a group of dedicated men built a perfect Gothic Revival chapel during the depths of the Great Depression. He switched to fiction and has written seventy-seven Stinky Stories, which are collected in this and seven other volumes. Like a purple cow, it's more fun to write about than be the best looking man on the planet.



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